I know that the state of being broken is one that everyone dreads and it would be unwise to bring yourself back to that state ever again. You may not have 100% control over whether it would happen again or not. But you do have a larger percentage of the chance to bring it to its barest minimum. God has the ultimate control but He has also given you wisdom to avoid such circumstances. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to wait. Wait long enough to heal very well before you think of jumping on to the next train of relationship.
Beryl had a boyfriend, Pierre, and she adored him so much. The feeling was mutual as her boyfriend confirmed and affirmed his love for her every minute and every second of the day. They would talk several times in a day and paid each other regular visits. Now, bedding came before the wedding and things went sour between them. Eventually, they had to break up.
Beryl was so devastated at the turn of events and couldn’t stand the loss of the relationship she so much cherished. The pain was so unbearable for her that, she looked for a way to salvage her pain. She looked for a quick fix for her temporary overwhelming feeling of resentment, bitterness and sorrow. Within a few weeks she had accepted Quayson’s proposal and they were dating. She seemed happy again. Within a few months, the new relationship was on rocks again and she was so devastated. She was back to square one.
She could have waited to heal from all the hurt, blame and unforgiveness and bitterness before moving on. But she was in a hurry to get rid of the pain, so much so, that Quayeson became her emotional pain killer. Quayeson grew tired of always having to be the one to mop up the mess some other man created in Beryl’s life and that was how he began to lose interest in the relationship.
Many of us are like Beryl. We look for a quick fix for the pain we are going through after we are broken rather than going through the actual process of waiting to heal gradually. We are afraid of being alone. This has constantly been the cause of our many relationship ordeals. Until we learn to properly wait to be healed before we jump on to the next relationship, we make rash decisions and end up disappointed. This is because the state in which our mind is, isn’t the best for it to make really sound decisions. It doesn’t afford us the serenity to look out for and ask all the necessary questions before going on with the new person and this costs us dearly in the end.
Learn to wait. There is something the Bible teaches us in Isaiah 30:41about waiting:
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
(King James Version (KJV))
For the eagle to regain its strength after living forty years of its life, it has to go through a painful waiting period of five months, plucking off its talons and feathers. When the eagle is able to go through this painful process, it will live thirty more years. But if it doesn’t, it dies at forty. When you wait long enough, you will be renewed and refreshed. You gain new wisdom and knowledge to be able to identify what went wrong so that you can bounce back wiser in your next relationship.
A relationship is a walk into marriage and into the fulfilment of divine purpose. This kind of walk needs a lot of patience, and a lot of work both physically and spiritually to be able to arrive at your God-given destination. If you do not learn patience through waiting for the right and appropriate timing of God, then there is no way your relationship walk is going to end well. This is not to say that those who wait have it easy. No! No relationship is easy. But with the right conditions in place you face less challenges. In fact you are able to avoid the avoidable challenges all together when you wait patiently and in the right way.
I pray for you, that you do not feel delayed when God asks you to wait. May you find peace when the Lord is giving you rest from all the stress you knowingly or unknowingly put yourself.